Friday, July 16, 2010
As I mentioned in my last post I have been going through a few things in life that have knocked me off tilt. I have had to deal with a lot of heartache. Especially in the last couple of weeks as things have come to a head. It has been a hard journey because I have felt very alone.
There are those who have reached out to me. Those who have tried their best to be a comfort. The problem is that I have taken on so much for so long that I have felt as if I have had no choice but try to deal with it myself (and not very well, I might add).
Therefore, I am at this place in my life that I have to figure out what to do from here. I am not really all that sure. I still have one more chance to try to make things go my way in all of this but I have lost faith. I know. I know. It is not a good thing to lose faith but I am human. Sometimes I allow that side of me shine through. I know it is not the way to live one's life but it is where I am at right now.
What do I do about the problem I am having? How do I cope with my pain within and still do my best to live life? I am doing the only thing I know how to do. I am trying to find that silver lining. I am trying my best to count the blessings I have been given. I am trying to treat the valleys I am facing as life lessons. Not sure, which ones I am suppose to be learning but trying my best to figure it out.
I know moments in life only seem dark when one is facing them. I know that in time the pain will hurt a little less. I know that the joys I try to experience right now will not be so forced as time moves forward. It does not ease what I am feeling now but all I can do is try. Trying is better than just being bitter.
I will have to put the anger a way soon. I will have to be forgiving. I will have to be kind to those who have been cruel to me. Not an easy task for me at all. All I can promise is to try and maybe by trying I will find the silver lining to this storm. Not matter how faint it seems at the moment for me.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
I am sure everyone has thought I gave up on this little blog. As you can see, I have not. I can use all sort of excuses as to why I have not been around. From Connor being out of school to pressing family issues that has in turn thrown me for a loop these days. None of those things matter and the truth is I will not bore everyone with the details. I am back and planning on returning to my old writing schedule of every moment, I have free (Not that I have much of that but who does these days).
I will start by saying that I feel closer to being a writer than I have in a long time. To date I have 150 pieces published on Triond and I have made a whopping .84 (Hooray for me!!!!). Soon I will be able to buy a candy bar. All joking aside it is not about the money. I am just happy at this point to have the exposure. That in turn will of course open doors to me. I have discovered a cool little place called "Every Day Fiction" due to Triond.
Every Day Fiction is a place that publishes flash fiction (Not over 1,000 words) that is emailed to you once a day (If there is a piece to be emailed that day). Everyone reads it and rates it. You do not have to be a member to read/rate or to write a piece. It just has to be a new piece that has never been published (This includes one's blog). I have met many great writers on there (Where have not I met great writers-LMAO) who are very helpful.
There is a workshop on there to help writers improve their works. I really suggest that everyone who enjoys reading and writing checks it out.
In other news, like everyone else I have been melting in this Georgia heat. Remember when I stated I was ready for summer back when I was freezing my booty off at the bus stop? Well I am looking back at that time and wishing for that freezing weather. I am sure it will change about January or February. Just do not throw it up in my face (LMAO).
I am counting down to the beginning of school. I only have a couple of more weeks. Connor is not too thrilled since he will be repeating the first grade but I will not lie. I would rather he did that now than in high school when he is more aware of it. I just hope this time he gets a better teacher than last year.
Well that is all for the time being. I do ask for everyone's prayers. Those who know me well know why. I am going to have to be very strong during this time. I do not feel that way right now mind you but hopefully it will come in time. So just, pray hard for me everyone and thanks for hanging in there as I went so long without writing in here. I promise to try to be more of a presents in here. Have a good week.